Signs of a Cheater.

I found this website last September when I was looking for some consolation. My one time partner (whom I had thought was "the one" for life) had made an announcement.

The announcement was basicly that she was going to take Friday the 12th off work and drive up to Michigan (over 175 miles away) for a 3 day weekend with some guy she met on line.

I was crushed.
As time passed, and I learned more about the length of time she had been communicating with him. This had been taking place for over two years. Although it started innocently enough, I soon learned of her on line affair that as soon as 2 weeks after I had taken my stuff out - and she had already spent the weekend with him - they already had plans to go to Vegas together for a 3 day Valentines weekend.

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I had learned a very valuable lesson.

I had met her on the internet in May of 2002. I learned that she'd had internet flings before. I learned during our time together that she has a flirtation problem... spending some private time playing tonsil hockey with a band member at my reunion as well as one of my classmates that she went to the hotel bar with. I also learned that she has an affinity for younger hispanic men (where she was old enough to be their mom). The new term for that is: She's a cougar.

Members of her family stated that she never kept any man longer than I was with her (6 years). Yet, they had hoped she had made a choice to settle down. Nice folks, her family. But all of the consolations in the world from them couldn't erase the damage SHE did.

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So I learned a very harsh lesson.
Trust is something I gave freely to her.
I shouldn't have.

Today, I find myself in a reflective mood about how I got where things are. You see, as recently as six months ago (August, 2008), I was proclaiming a great deal of "absolutes". In the two months that followed, the word NEVER came up a LOT!

Well, NEVER happened frequently over the last several months. Some examples include:

• The departure of somone I thought was permananty in my life;
• The reality of inheriting mom's house and losing it through foreclosure;
• Thoughts of finding myself "working for the man" to survive began to creep back in;
• Finding myself back in a relationship that I swore would NEVER happen.
• Inheriting more of Dad's illnesses despite my very different lifestyle;
• After the "event" clearly I had no intention of permitting myself to become part of "a couple".

Yet, here I am. Virtually every one of the "NEVER"s were broken.

The only resolution I can glean from this is never say never.