Gray Day Reflections

I find that Grey, Autumnal days are the best for reflection.


My mind wanders to points in time and I reflect for an instant upon that moment.


Sometimes a movie title or specific scene would pop into my head and my memory steps through that wormhole, instantly teleporting me back to that particular moment in time.

I often find myself reflecting back when specific calendar dates pass. For example, every Christmas, I seem to reflect back to a much younger time when I see or hear lines from the 1951 version of "A Christmas Carol" starring Alistair Sim, which is always my favorite Christmas movie. When that is on, I find myself teleported back to Christmastimes when I still lived at home, and it was on TV at around 2 AM Christmas Day. We had either just arrived back from my Aunt's house or everyone had left our house from Christmas Eve and we were unwinding just before bed. I would often stay up and watch this Christmas classic until 3 or 3:30 AM by myself in the living room... in the dark.... Christmas Tree Lights on, and a fire in the fireplace. It is a very good memory...




Many of my reflections are calendar based, as a certain date, or time of the year passes. Some contain a common thread or theme, which all weaves around similar experiences. Sometimes there are reflections that you teleport back through when you glimpse a memory of a movie title or scene. And sometimes you get a conglomeration of several reference points that tug at your heartstrings enough to pull you, unwillingly, through that portal of time.

Recently, I have been re-experiencing the heartaches of just over three years ago, as August 31st thru September 5th was passing. The floodgates opened. The shock of her announcement; the feelings of sickness, revulsion, rejection and despair all resurfaced. The realization that I had once again crossed into a period of transition. The memories of certain movies forever entwined: 50 First Dates; Somewhere In Time; The Lake House to name three that each, in their own way, dealt with romance, time and the resulting changes in the movie's plot due to path changes taken by the movie's lead roles. Plus these were movies that we watched together, that did, indeed bring her to tears.

Then, after a time, I snap back...
Today is all around me. A new set of circumstances, totally unrelated, are my priorities now. A renewed direction from back in 1974 regarding REAL opportunities to play my drums again! (Hey! I have 2 drumsets now!) The reality hits me that I may be a LOT closer to that dream than I had imagined as recently as a month ago!

Do I still have those reflections? Sure. Is it still gray out? Yes, but the sun IS trying to peek through the winter-like clouds.

That period of transition I mentioned a couple of paragraphs ago is not yet over. Events unforeseen before, have taken me down a completely different path. I've literally met hundreds of people in the local music industry and om on a first name basis with a great many of them.

As I type this.... a sign? The sun has completely peeked through. It wasn't supposed to happen today. The remnants of Hurricane Lee are parked over Ohio and it is supposed to be a gray day. Did God just wink at me? I think so.

OK... so I did some reflection upon someone from my past. No after-depression! No longing "what if's". Instead, a sign.

Perhaps this track I am on... quest for a new job... quest to complete my drumset and play drums again.... perhaps this IS a path I was intended to be on. I think so!

I also think that today IS going to be a good day!