It's been almost a year for a LOT of things.
No Drinking...
No Website...
No Farcebook...
No Photograpghy...
Drumming at a standstill...
I now grind out 54 hours a week, minimum.
That is what I do...
That is all I do...
Sunday, November 04, 2012
Tuesday, August 07, 2012
Welcome to The Abyss
At first glance, one might think, "What happened?".
"Was my blink too long?"
"When did this become unfamiliar territory?"
"How do I get back to where I was?"
That's the rub, you see. You can't go back.
Today is here. Tomorrow will be different still. The way things were is gone.
Those who can deal with it, will somehow, survive. Those who can't... well they're already dead. They just don't know it yet.
I could, myself, be one of the walking zombies. The ones who are dead and just don't know it yet. In this regard, too, time will tell.
I could be discussing the state of the world today. It would seem that way. After all the ranting I have done... all the preaching that the end was coming... I never had the funds to begin the preparations.
Newton's laws of motion indicate that an object in motion will stay in motion until another one of the laws of force affect it. The course I set out upon propelled me forward for some time, but not enough time was available, it seems. My ship - adrift in the abyss - now imprisons me rather than shelters me.
Today, I speak of two very different things... one very obvious and one that is very subjective.
Obvious first.
Of course, the overtones are that of the state of what once was the greatest country on earth.The course that we are on is just as scary. The runaway train in this is actually the government. Spending four billion dollars per day is so unbalanced that I expect the wheels to fly off soon. When that happens, the last vestiges of the old republic will be washed away with the tides of new socialism and dictatorship. We still may have the illusion of elections, but the puppet press has been white washing the regime's take over for three and a half years.
With the increases in what was once isolated crack pots shooting, domestic terrorism will do nothing to impede the aggressive take over of what will soon be a police state, in order to maintain the order in the streets. It won't be long before the power will be exerted to begin the removal of civilian armaments. I regret my inability to arm myself, as soon, it will be too late.
Not So Obvious Next.
This has become my singular outlet for expression. Soon, it too may be gone. Why? Despite it being a free service (for now), it does expose me. When the collapse does finally come, I wish to be as anonymous as possible. Please make a note here - the last vestiges of the website of over 10 years are now history.
All additional website expenditures are closed. I can no longer afford it. Additional expenditures are also gone that include: tanning; drinking; bowling; camping; home phone; and many others, which I am certain I have forgotten about.
In a very short period of time I could be working 3 am to 6 pm daily as I have begun negotiations for a part time job prior to my already full time job - that is STILL a temporary job.
Simply put, I can no longer afford to work merely one job.
So the silly extravagance of Internet activity will also be gone.
How DID we get here, anyhow?
"Was my blink too long?"
"When did this become unfamiliar territory?"
"How do I get back to where I was?"
That's the rub, you see. You can't go back.
Today is here. Tomorrow will be different still. The way things were is gone.
Those who can deal with it, will somehow, survive. Those who can't... well they're already dead. They just don't know it yet.
I could, myself, be one of the walking zombies. The ones who are dead and just don't know it yet. In this regard, too, time will tell.
I could be discussing the state of the world today. It would seem that way. After all the ranting I have done... all the preaching that the end was coming... I never had the funds to begin the preparations.
Newton's laws of motion indicate that an object in motion will stay in motion until another one of the laws of force affect it. The course I set out upon propelled me forward for some time, but not enough time was available, it seems. My ship - adrift in the abyss - now imprisons me rather than shelters me.
Today, I speak of two very different things... one very obvious and one that is very subjective.
Obvious first.
Of course, the overtones are that of the state of what once was the greatest country on earth.The course that we are on is just as scary. The runaway train in this is actually the government. Spending four billion dollars per day is so unbalanced that I expect the wheels to fly off soon. When that happens, the last vestiges of the old republic will be washed away with the tides of new socialism and dictatorship. We still may have the illusion of elections, but the puppet press has been white washing the regime's take over for three and a half years.
With the increases in what was once isolated crack pots shooting, domestic terrorism will do nothing to impede the aggressive take over of what will soon be a police state, in order to maintain the order in the streets. It won't be long before the power will be exerted to begin the removal of civilian armaments. I regret my inability to arm myself, as soon, it will be too late.
Not So Obvious Next.
This has become my singular outlet for expression. Soon, it too may be gone. Why? Despite it being a free service (for now), it does expose me. When the collapse does finally come, I wish to be as anonymous as possible. Please make a note here - the last vestiges of the website of over 10 years are now history.
All additional website expenditures are closed. I can no longer afford it. Additional expenditures are also gone that include: tanning; drinking; bowling; camping; home phone; and many others, which I am certain I have forgotten about.
In a very short period of time I could be working 3 am to 6 pm daily as I have begun negotiations for a part time job prior to my already full time job - that is STILL a temporary job.
Simply put, I can no longer afford to work merely one job.
So the silly extravagance of Internet activity will also be gone.
How DID we get here, anyhow?
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Again with the Changes....
Had I done this a several years ago, the personal and financial landscape may appear far different.
For the first change, I had to reflect back to a conversation with Aunt Lou at Christmastime in 2009. When in a conversation about returning to drumming turned to equipment, I said I would probably have to upgrade. Aunt Lou came back with with the comment that the set she and Uncle Harry bought me back in 1969 was a very cheap set, and probably couldn't be restored.
Upon years of reflection since that comment, I finally sold these three drums last month. Someone else now has the charge of rehabbing them. They were just taking up space in the storage unit anyhow - as they had done in basements and attics since the early 1980's. Why was I holding onto them anyhow? I DID keep the snare and Cymbal Uncle Harry bought me, however.
______________________________________________________
Another change....
Locked away in storage for the last 18 months - and virtually unused for the 12 months preceeding that....
Was I using them? NO. Was I likely to any time soon? Not hardly, I should think. For one, I don't have a large enough place. I can barely afford to live where I am at now, for goodness sake! Then, after some lengthy contemplation of the 6 month rule... I decided to part with them as well. Sure... family heirloom and all... Nevermind... stick to the 6 months rule. What's the 6 month rule? Have you used it in the last 6 months? NO? Have you missed it? WILL you likely use it again in the next 6 months? NO? Will anyone from the family want it? Use it? Be willing to pay the storage for keeping it? NO? Then why do you KEEP it?
In doing so, I have eliminated about 25% of the space used in the storage unit. I have begun the task of bringing home the Album Collection... which I WILL use. As will I use the Stereo.... if it still works.
Of all my kids, only Michael has expressed any interest in any of the things I have stored. So... he'll get the Star Trek stuff... ALL of it... including the Betamax and all the series tapes.
In the end, I have begun DE-hoarding and reduced the monthly outlay as the storage unit can be downsized. In the end, most of my hoardings will be parted with. I may keep the tools, but soon the rest of the stored CRAP will be gone.
I'll always have memories and photos...
... but without the family homestead.... I mean, REALLY... why keep the family homestead furnishings?
Monday, July 02, 2012
WHAM!!!
Today was a day like any other.
Sitting back at the end of the day, a sudden flash back.
Sea World.
A place that no longer exists.
.
Another flashback... Geauga Lake.
A Great time...
...and another place that no longer exists...
A feeling that rushed back...
A relationship that no longer exists
A time gone by - as long as 10 years ago
...a sudden memory that brought with it... memories... a boat load of them...
... floodgates of warmth flow over me...
... the hollow depression of loss that follows...
... then... something happened.
The feeling of loss subsided. Faster than it had ever before.
Weirdness!
Maybe I have finally turned the page.
Sitting back at the end of the day, a sudden flash back.
Sea World.
A place that no longer exists.
.
Another flashback... Geauga Lake.
A Great time...
...and another place that no longer exists...
A feeling that rushed back...
A relationship that no longer exists
A time gone by - as long as 10 years ago
...a sudden memory that brought with it... memories... a boat load of them...
... floodgates of warmth flow over me...
... the hollow depression of loss that follows...
... then... something happened.
The feeling of loss subsided. Faster than it had ever before.
Weirdness!
Maybe I have finally turned the page.
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
More of the same...
... less of the brain.
The youth of today never ceases to repulse me.
Video Games and Texting.
Civilization is doomed.
The youth of today never ceases to repulse me.
Video Games and Texting.
Civilization is doomed.
Monday, May 28, 2012
We're in trouble...
Today is Memorial Day.
I know what this holiday is set aside for. I've most recently learned that certain youth of this day and age has no clue other than we have a day off.
One such youth even made the comment that she didn't understand wht so many war movies were on this weekend.
God help us. The dumbing down of American youth has nearly eliminated an entire generation's ability to do anything but play video games. They certainly aren't learning history in school any more.
God help us.
I know what this holiday is set aside for. I've most recently learned that certain youth of this day and age has no clue other than we have a day off.
One such youth even made the comment that she didn't understand wht so many war movies were on this weekend.
God help us. The dumbing down of American youth has nearly eliminated an entire generation's ability to do anything but play video games. They certainly aren't learning history in school any more.
God help us.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Times they are a changin'...
I like peaceful walks on the country over following the same old bands and hearing the same old set lists. Something new has to be at least as entertaining to me. I like the modern version of country music...
I don't surf the net so much any more... I let my website(s) go. The final domain dies off in August, 2012. Four years ago, I made some predictions about disappearing... Funny, how old predictions have been coming true... First Facebook ... then the websites... then MySpace... and then...
After a deep clensing sigh... I feel somewhat rejuvinated. Almost 30 pounds lighter... sober for longer than I ever have been... a very different lifestyle... Hell, I even have an item on my bucket list... To Play out again before I am 60.
Money's tighter than it has ever been and I think it should ease once I take that second job. Soon...
More when I have it
Monday, April 30, 2012
Promises.... Promises....
Promises.... Promises....
No matter what they tell you.... they're lying.
No matter what they talk about.... they talk about money.
(originally posted 12/2011)
No matter what they tell you.... they're lying.
No matter what they talk about.... they talk about money.
(originally posted 12/2011)
Carosel of Life...
Again and again...
The same mistakes.
The same holes to dig out of...
Reruns are for favorite TV shows... not me.
I don't even watch that much TV.
This better end soon.
I don't have much will left.
The same mistakes.
The same holes to dig out of...
Reruns are for favorite TV shows... not me.
I don't even watch that much TV.
This better end soon.
I don't have much will left.
Saturday, April 14, 2012
A Great Quote:
Scene: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls.
Our hero's life has changed rapidly. In a scene inside his home with Dean Charles Stanforth, the Dean says the quote: "We seem to have reached the age where life stops giving us things and starts taking them away."
Indy had just reflected upon the loss of his dad, his friend Marcus Brody; and how his life had been changed.
___________________________________________________
I've been feeling that way lately.
My faculties are waning. Abilities, dexterities, achey joints and sleeplessness all contribute to my own feebility.
So much has happened. I no longer drink... mostly for financial as well as health purposes - but occaisionally miss a good drink.
I don't take pictures any more. The competition and criticisms are too ruthless to endure.
I don't practice my drums any more - because I am too embarassed by the know it all criticims of a drum core mom.
I'm not self employed any more despite my making more then - then I do now.
In essence.... I've found my only solice in life is to be a house hermit and a work-a-holic.
It'll do.
Our hero's life has changed rapidly. In a scene inside his home with Dean Charles Stanforth, the Dean says the quote: "We seem to have reached the age where life stops giving us things and starts taking them away."
Indy had just reflected upon the loss of his dad, his friend Marcus Brody; and how his life had been changed.
___________________________________________________
I've been feeling that way lately.
My faculties are waning. Abilities, dexterities, achey joints and sleeplessness all contribute to my own feebility.
So much has happened. I no longer drink... mostly for financial as well as health purposes - but occaisionally miss a good drink.
I don't take pictures any more. The competition and criticisms are too ruthless to endure.
I don't practice my drums any more - because I am too embarassed by the know it all criticims of a drum core mom.
I'm not self employed any more despite my making more then - then I do now.
In essence.... I've found my only solice in life is to be a house hermit and a work-a-holic.
It'll do.
Monday, February 13, 2012
More Shoes?
More Shoes?
One of life's little treasures are hand-me-down sayings from my parents - or their parents generations. Once such saying is waiting for the other show to drop.
Within my recent history, I have been waiting for the other show to drop. Again, and again... as hurdles are navigated, I find myself waiting for yet another show to drop. There comes a point when you begin to wish everyone was barefoot!
This latest chapter has caused yet, more strife.
The income is severely outweighed by the reality of someone's spending habits. In my current position, I won't make enough to continually make ends meet. Yet she joins all sorts of societies, and continues spending gobs of cash on her hobby like there's no tomorrow... because "she deserves it".
Wait til the reality hits home that I've repeated again... my same mistake I've had for the past 15 years. No more credit cards for me... EVER!
One of life's little treasures are hand-me-down sayings from my parents - or their parents generations. Once such saying is waiting for the other show to drop.
Within my recent history, I have been waiting for the other show to drop. Again, and again... as hurdles are navigated, I find myself waiting for yet another show to drop. There comes a point when you begin to wish everyone was barefoot!
This latest chapter has caused yet, more strife.
The income is severely outweighed by the reality of someone's spending habits. In my current position, I won't make enough to continually make ends meet. Yet she joins all sorts of societies, and continues spending gobs of cash on her hobby like there's no tomorrow... because "she deserves it".
Wait til the reality hits home that I've repeated again... my same mistake I've had for the past 15 years. No more credit cards for me... EVER!
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