Living Metamorphosis

Things are changing.

I no longer feel the need to travel all over to see my friend's bands. I no longer need to drink myself into a stupor to have fun. I no longer need to please them, which is good,  and will be discussed later.

I've gone back to drumming.  This was a "fear point" for a long time. I took the plunge and started jamming. It became clear that my confidence was building again. This needs to continue!

I have seen many sides to the move here. The benefits outweigh the negatives.  I've also grown past my sexual disability. Letting go of Heather was the first  step.  Then, stepping forward to speak to other women was the second step. Now, As the women come forward and I've had to deflect one after another. Perhaps one day, I'll find someone to click with.

With children grown, mostly on their own and mutually ignoring me back, I see that I'll be alone again and at peace with my existence.  I suspect I'm halfway through this relationship now, and soon, I shall be alone again. I can't wait for that day.

Change on the horizon?

Today feels like change. Could be the change of the seasons, but I doubt it. It feels like something more on the horizon. I felt this way before, and I've always been right. So perhaps I am poised for a new chapter.