update

Two nights ago,  Dawn called me again.  She wants to meet.  I'm flattered,  but not sure there's anything there. We'll see,  as I try not to think about her. 

Band practice is noon, Thursday.  These guys are my age.

Yesterday,  I got a call from the lead singer of the K Street band. This is a working band like Disco. Four potential candidates for replacing their drummer leaving in October.  Wow. 

history

So, grandma came here in 1912. Her dad,-o-papa , came earlier as a skilled tool smith, working in Pittsburgh. 

Grandpa's family arrived  early to mid 1800s in wisconsin, and grandpa's grandpa ran into trouble and moved to Cleveland.  That puts his side here around 1840. 

Dad's side (dad's grandfather, Frederick William Bruggemeier) arrived in Cleveland around 1852 with siblings either arriving then or shortly thereafter.  Linda didn't find any immigration records or what ship they arrived on.  

Cool!

It's starting to take shape

Hmmmmm

So, by the time I got home from my deliveries today, Heather was gone somewhere.  I got home at 11:30 am. 

She later went to a friend's house to swim.  That was at 1. Texted about buying steak for dinner.  Called at 5 stating that she would be staying longer.  Finally home at 10:30. 

Oh well, I'm just the roommate. More fuel for the fire. 

Upon returning home she announced she was going to Randy's tomorrow/night. I hope she doesn't expect me to go to her dad's Sunday for father's day.  

Almost Time

For months I have been deleting Facebook friends to only those I know, have met or interact with them.  Now, the final clean out. 

I've closed my photography and graphics companies, left a band who's members I didn't get along with.  Quit a job I kinda liked but masks were against my standards.  

Meanwhile,  I have aggressively paid down Bill's in an effort to get more self sufficient.  I've investigated gun ownership and made a few decisions there as well.  

My clearing out of people also included some I revered and who's beliefs conflicted with my standards.  Cest laVie. 

Something is going to happen.  I can feel it. 

I hope its a new band venture,  but if not, I'm good.  

We'll see 

WTF??

Been on a rerun spree of sorts.

Dreams of people and places from my past. 

Driving deliveries and seeing a house... a farm... a storefront that triggered a deja vu moment or a memory of another place/time.  It's happening daily. I can't tell if it's my mind trying to get past the feeling I have that I was rejected by Dawn. I just don't know. 

Further,  my mind is in a bit of disarray,  starting one thought and then jumping to another.  Can't seem to rationalize the feelings I am having.  Wierd.

Vivid dreams again...

Last night, it was a square, empty, 1 room house occupied by the Mitchell family,  with rotting floors, broken glass on the floor,  walls leaking milk and old, rolling laminate flooring peeling off with gaping holes to fall through.

Tonight,  it was a business trip where the hotel room was cancelled and I was being evicted before the end of the conference. 

I wonder what unresolved issues my subconscious mind is trying to resolve 

in case I'm thrown off Farcebook

I've read several articles that the "New Normal" is that as many as half to two-thirds of bars and restaurants will be out of business by the end of 2020. Due to loss of business for up to half a year, plus the new restrictions,  barriers and overhead costs trying to reopen under the Coronavirus guidelines.  

What a shame.

It's not just the business owners,  their families, their employees and the like that will be affected,  but also the vendors,  suppliers and entertainment they provide.  No wonder I've already seen "See you in 2021" posted in Coming Events posters and signs. 

Now you have kids who studied their last quarter on their phones, graduating by hunching over that same phone. The aggressive CDC and Governors have unapologetically sucked the life out of the entertainment industry,  dining industry and.... WAIT! They just announced dancing is permitted IF you dance with your shelter in home cell mate!! How F@CKING generous of them. Anyone wondering why my inner rebellious patriot has risen from the dead??

Check the attached photo for a good reference. With over 98% of the population either surviving or never contracted the damn virus; and most of the infections in retirement homes, prisons or other confined conditions what was the shutdown for? 

I for one spent almost EVERY day in the past 5 months WORKING IN PUBLIC!!! How utterly Asinine the entire shut down was!!

If you dont like my comments,  better unfriend me now, because you won't care for me or my comments ever again. This sleeping Patriot has awakened and these cushy governmental "lifers" are NOT at all in touch with their electorate.

for future reference

This from Dr. Chuck Gbur, Cardiologist in Toledo.

Re: COVID-19

“I have been dark for the most part since this pandemic thing started. I have seen enough now that I feel it is time to share my experiences and thoughts. I am not an “Expert” like you see on CNN. However, I did earn a BS in combined sciences with an emphasis in biology and chemistry, a Doctor of Medicine degree, and completed an Internal Medicine Residency and Cardiology Fellowship. I also did post graduate work towards a PhD in Physiology, completing essentially everything short of the final few experiments to complete my thesis. I did extensive lab work using molecular biology looking at heat shock proteins. I also spent 25 years in the military working on numerous staff’s, participating in exercises and courses covering the spectrum of CBR warfare to medical logistics, Naval War College, etc. I have been a practicing Interventional Cardiologist for 25 years.

When this COVID-19 “pandemic” started, I was skeptical and felt there was a lot of people and politicians overreacting. By the end of March, I was asked to be part of our Hospital Incident Command System. At that time, I remained a little skeptical, but did my job to plan for the “worst case scenario”. I did this based on projections and models, realizing full well that no plan survives the first shot. I watched the local and national news, tract data from numerous sources, and read people’s responses and comments on social media. As time went on, the dots became less and less connected. Things didn’t and don’t add up. I am no longer skeptical, now I am convinced this entire “pandemic” has been massively mismanaged and when this is looked at retrospectively in the future, nothing short of a massive Charlie Foxtrot. Several comments/observations:

• First, I believe this virus was not naturally occurring, but genetically manipulated. I still have not formed an opinion as to whether the release was accidental or intentional.

• I think this virus was present at least several months prior to being recognized.

• People need to understand that the entire draconian response that we are witnessing was designed with a mission statement to “flatten the curve”. Not to save lives, reduce deaths or anything like that. Flattening the curve is like squishing a water balloon. You don’t change the volume in the end. You just spread things out over a longer period of time- thereby not overwhelming the hospitals.

• New York and Ohio are different. So is Wyoming and South Dakota and every other geographical area in the country. It makes no sense to develop blanket policies and apply them to a very big and diverse country. This includes nearly every policy developed by medical professional organizations, regulatory bodies, state and local health departments and the government as a whole.

• I believe Dr. Amy Acton in Ohio is a very smart person and has the best intentions at heart, but she suffers from tunnel vision and lacks “operational experience”. She was assigned a mission and will do anything to complete it- without taking into account all of the impact and unintended consequences her decisions caused. I don’t fault her, I was once a ‘young’ battalion surgeon at a Combined Arms Exercise (CAX) with 3/25 Marines. I had tunnel vision then and didn’t give a rat’s ass about anything but taking care of my battalion. Later as a little older Regimental surgeon and the MAGTF surgeon at CAX, I had a new perspective. Now I was the one all the other medical personnel below me bitched about, claimed I was taking their assets or personnel. It was because now I was responsible for not just a battalion, but an entire Marine Air Ground Task Force. And more importantly, not only was I responsible for the medical care of the MAGTF, my overriding and primary objective was to complete the assigned mission of the commanding general. Way too many policies and decisions were made based on the wrong “mission statement”. In my opinion, the mission statement should have been something like “To develop policies and procedures to mitigate/minimize the impact of COVID-19 on the population and the normal operation of the country.”

• This virus is much more prevalent than reported or realized. Some studies suggest, 50 times more people have been exposed than detected. I suspect that it’s much larger. So, if we accept the 50X number, for every diagnosed case, there are 50 people out there that have it. Of those diagnosed, 80-90+% have either no symptoms or minimal to moderate symptoms. A small percentage get seriously sick, and many will die. Those that die in general are old, have other medical issues and comorbidities. Yes, I know, there are the occasional children and young people that get sick, have other manifestations (Kawasaki like illnesses, strokes, etc.), however you see that in most viral illnesses, such as the flu. It just receives absolutely no attention from the media or social media.

• This virus will run it’s course and we can’t stop it. We may change it’s velocity or trajectory, but in the end, the same number of people will die. Keep that in mind. The same number will die. We have destroyed the economy and in the end the only thing we will be able to show is an economy in shambles and policy changes that have far reaching and irreversible consequences.

• For those of you that argue it is worth giving up “freedom” for “protection”- you are dead wrong. And in the end, you will have given up freedom and not be any safer.

• Again, we have done nothing to “cure” anyone. There is no FDA approved treatment. Hydroxychloroquine has been reported to be effective in numerous small trials. The drug is safe and cheap. Most of the military have taken it at some point. The use of this drug has been affected by politics and finances. The media and pharmaceutical companies do everything in their power to discredit a drug that cost $0.06 and is mentioned by Trump for another unapproved drug that cost $1,000.00 a day. Am I being cynical? Maybe. But keep following the money.

• “Herd Immunity” is the only thing that will really protect us. Either by vaccine (which doesn’t exist yet) or naturally occurring. By that, people need exposed, infected and then develop antibodies and immunity.

• People should be allowed to social gather. We should not be under this ‘soft’ Martial Law. If consenting adults make a decision to gather, especially on their private property, they should be allowed to, in fact they should be encouraged. If they become infected, most will not even know it. But they will be growing the herd.

• High risk people, the frail, the sick, the elderly- they should be social distancing, sheltering in place and wearing a mask. Otherwise mask and gloves are stupid and largely ineffective. A huge waste of resources.

• Speaking of wasting resources- wiping down every grocery cart, limiting access to stores, and all of the other stupid things we are doing haven’t shown to really do anything. Just wash your hands.

• Closing the schools was a mistake. All of the policies being made to reopen some time with desks 6 feet apart, not allow kids to eat in the cafeteria, etc. are not going to be effective, not protect anything, cost an immense amount of money and place a huge unnecessary burden on the school systems. Kids for the most part do really well and account for a small fraction of the cases, despite what the media tells you. They are little vectors of disease. If they stayed in school, they would all have been exposed, immune and happy and healthy, and no longer be a risk to their grandparents and other relatives at risk.

• Life in this country will never be the same. The “new norm” isn’t normal at all. In fact it’s bullshit.

• The unintended consequences of our decisions have yet to be realized but will be far reaching. I am going to LMAO once the Sokolove Law commercials come out looking for people exposed to hand sanitizer who have cancer. Just wait, it’s coming.

• There will be a “second wave” as we relax the martial law mandates. It is inevitable. Again, we didn’t do anything to stop the virus.

• If the government tries to tighten things up again, I do not think people will comply this time. Sure, the uninformed sheep will, but most people won’t.

• Yes, I know some of you had this and were really sick, felt like hell. That’s what viruses do. That’s what the flu does too.

• Yes, I know this isn’t the flu. The major difference clinically though is that there is no immunity anywhere. So, it is much more virulent. But it also isn’t some alien virus like the Andromeda Strain.

• There is most likely going to be a major food shortage this Summer and Fall. Partially due to supply chain disruption, decreased production and panic buying.

• There will likely be a spike in violent crimes- hungry people do things like that. Plus, many communities are being forced to cut back on social services due to decreases in revenue. Our local community has cut 10% of the police force because of revenue shortfalls.

• If the virus gets introduced to a tight group of old and frail people with multiple medical problems and no immunity- many will get infected and many will die. That’s what happens in nursing homes. It happens with the flu too, just not as bad because some partial immunity and protection from the flu vaccine. But it still happens.

• All of the statistics are garbage. When the State comes out and instructs you to list COVID-19 as the cause of death on death certificates regardless of actual cause of death, something is wrong. The asymptomatic COVID-19 + person hit by a truck didn’t die from the virus. Then 2 weeks later you are instructed to count a suspected case as an official case- we will never be able to look at the data and draw reasonable conclusions.

• The sooner people get out and get on with their lives, the better we all will be. A flatten curved is just a long drawn out tragedy causing far more harm than good.

• There is going to be increasing polarization in society, it has already been pretty bad. But mix in an election year and throw in a pandemic, gasoline on the fire.

• Speaking of gasoline- when oil hit -$40.00/barrel (that’s negative forty dollars), think what that means. Yea, maybe lower gas prices, but it also crippled the American oil industry. The environmental extremist may be thrilled- but wait until they are hungry. The appearance of the virus during this glut is one thing that makes me wonder about an intentional release of the virus.

• The next war isn’t going to be guns and bombs- but economic warfare, cyber warfare using viruses to wreck economies.

• The future isn’t really that bright.”

Gray Days

2020 has been rather unique.

Almost 3 months into the stay at home order by a non elected administrator,  even the weather has lost it's color. The glare of disdain I get for refusing to wear a mask. The sheeple who shy away from you as you walk down a shopping aisle the wrong way.  The "sides" moralize their beliefs when clearly only one side drinks kool aid. 

The color has gone from life. The smiles are snapped out of the ashen faces. The zest has left the seasons.   

Honestly, we live in gray days, implemented by governors, endorsed by the media, seasoned with fabricated numbers, and the life being sucked away from us. This is no way to live

Change

The events of the past week have been... unique. 

Riots. Cities under closure. Cleveland,  Akron, Columbus,  Dayton,  Cincinnati all experienced street riots. The leftist media wants to paint this as a result of a 46 year old black George Floyd being killed by a bad white cop. That may have been the start,  but the professional rioters have been discovered in Columbus,  Cleveland and Cincinnati coming in busses,  handing out money to do specific activities, beatings and destruction. 

Never have I been so motivated to buy a gun as now. 

I also see my Facebook friends dwindling as I eliminated liberals and sympathizers.  

Domestically,  Heather leaves for the islands on Friday with Randy.  I continue to work like a dog, piling up the Roadie gigs to pay all bills off. 

I see Dawn being left behind. While she may not work Nashville nights anymore,  I also see her pulling the same thing publically that she pulls on me privately.  I'm not interested in being her second hand guy. I haven't told her about Heather yet and might not have to if I just disappear

 Besides,  I'm stuck until Dot is gone