Of all the things in my life over the past six or so years, the one constant is change.
Six years ago, I was almost six years in to a relationship with Diana.
Mom was gone less than a year.
We were engrossed in a pond expansion and a major back yard remodel that would ultimately pull us apart.
Five years and five months ago, we had broken up.
I was still self employed and still had the two bedroom apartment.
Five years and three months ago I started seeing Cheryl again, after barely being alone two months. I wasn't very strong back then. Still reeling from Diana's announcement that she wanted to go spend the weekend with a guy she met on line had my life shaken to the core. Alone and vulnerable, I turned to the trap I fell into last time my world crumbled.... Cheryl. This time, however, she seemed stronger, buffer than before and I found that attractive.
Four years and 10 months ago, I moved in with her.
I endured.
Now that she's gone almost ten months, I still miss her. I still feel sad. I wished she hadn't died.
Do I feel alone? At times....
Will I ever see anyone again?
I sometimes wonder....
I do enjoy my solitude - a reward if you will for all the servitude I endured most of my life. I now find that I could just about settle here. This would feel like home for the first time since 2007.
I wonder....
... could I gather the $50k to buy here?
... could I find a job less stressful that would be closer to home?
... and could I somehow convert my pastime of photography into a money maker?
Do I need female companionship for that? Not hardly. As a matter of fact, at 10 PM on 2/5/14, it's not even on the radar!
What's that mean?
