I'm guilty of deluding muself until just recently. I'm not alone.
Grandma deluded herself that she was a business woman. Yet, when she turned over the insurance agency and home loan, they were severely gutted of money. She had covered up M.A.'s infidelity, her own affairs and embezzlement and indiscretions. Her mental incompetence upon retiring at age 77 demonstrated her collapse and downfall when her partial stories and ramblings demonstrated it until she died.
Mom was no better. Like grandma, she rumbled about Arian ancestry, the Von Kelp coat of arms and other German pride issues, claiming I was the heir to a disbanded barony. As she ahed, her quirks got more obsessive and she tried numerous times to locate the love letters from Wes. We discovered them after mom died, and upon reading them, learned the sordid epic of her life long affair. Her lies and delusions caught up with her.
My delusions started early, with the brainwashings of German supremacy, the Von Kelp barony and other family fantasies told me from a very young age. When I took over for dad, I began to realize that I enjoyed physical work over collegiate pursuits.
I should have never wasted money and my life in college. I've NEVER been college minded. Looking back, i should have bolted in 1975, when i spent several prior as well as successive months working the trades.... carpentry, electrical, masonry, plumbing. I felt useful. In college classes, no matter the subject, I felt like I was wasting my time.
Had I left in 1975, I may have continued my drumming to make money as well. Neither happened. I was delusional, thinking I would follow in collegiate footsteps. Fact is, I never had the guy's yo follow my heart, but instead, deluded myself that I was a self deluded clerk
