Thoughts on Time

It's now over 7 years since Cheryl died.  I just calculated that it was about 7 years combined time that she and I were together.  Yet there are still unresolved issues I wrestle with.  Perhaps,  acceptance is a better way than resolution. She can't come back to resolve all of the unsaid,  undone things.  Acceptance is the way to move on. 

I hardly give any thought to Nancy,  and we had 18 years. I still give thought to Diana,  because of the happiness we had in those first years.  The thought I have got Jude is resentment and anger after about 2.5 years, but I harbor almost none to Heather and her open, active relationship with her boyfriend and after 3.5 years we still live in the same house. 

There are some serious conflicts in my thoughts. Why?

I guess it's because I was thrown over by Jude and Diana.  Any interest I have in sex is strictly casual and occasional.  Only recently have I thought about continued, repeated sex with a girl, and I've never even kissed her, (Dawn). Perhaps it's because she is new to my thoughts on that. 

But my moving beyond my past is going to have to happen if I am to ever have sex again