I rekindled an affair with Mary Beth, for 6 weeks. Then poof. Suddenly, alone, hurt and pissed because MB threw me over for her cousin.
I ricocheted onto Cheryl's bed. On many levels, she and I were good together. On equally as many levels she and I were bad for and to each other. I broke things off 3 times before we got married, one year to the day after we met. In one year, we'd be separated and 9 months later, divorced. She slowly faded away.
10 months later I met Diana and we had 3 good years together. But at 50, insecurities and E.D. gripped me. 3 more years and lots of alcohol later, she wanted to explore other men. Poof.
Four months later, I wrote Cheryl a birthday email. We rekindled. For a while it was good, but then she started showing signs that the sickness would be taking her. 2013... April...it did.
July, 2014. Met probably the most cold, skeptical person I ever met. An atheist named Jude. Broke it off in November of 2014. Took her to get her tests in December, but didn't rekindle until March 17, 2015, which was STILL too soon. I needed more time to grieve for Cheryl.
2015 plugged along. Jude met the family at Thanksgiving. Can't remember much about 2015, really, except for the house she purchased over memorial day. Spent that July and August rehabbing it. Moved in September 15th ish. Her cat dying in November began the end. I started my move to the second bedroom.
My 60th birthday was at Ace Molar at Barbarinos and Vicky Meany made Irish creme cakes. Jude must have had a hand in planning it. The biggest slap in my face was that was the day that Jude made Facebook friends with Jamie... whom she left me for 9 months later. I moved out in November of 2016.
I had fully planned to not get involved with any one again. Heather contacted me before my move in date and the rest was present tense. I never should have gotten involved. A messed up chick on multiple meds with a divorce and loss of her kids facing her.
After a year, she wanted to move closer to her girls and found this place. As we approach 3 years here, 2 years with her and Randy. I am alone in my room again.
E.D. took Diana, Jude and Heather to other men. Cheryl and I weren't really about sex during the second time.
I almost pursued Dawn this year. Maybe I would have if not for this coronavirus bullshit. But I'm biding my time while I work part time driving for Roadie and paying off my bills.
Just leaving my second band in a year, I know now that I CAN do it, but don't feel the need to reprove it. Photography and Graphics are gone as well. I'm happy enough to drive for now.
Maybe now that I have stopped looking for someone, I'll find her. OR I'll find I don't need anyone, which would be a relief as well
