Yesterday's dreams

A lot has happened in a short time. 

Heather is literally insane.  Limping around here like a hunchback who's a zombie.  Not making sense when talking.  Whether it's tardive Dyscanesia or drug dependency,  she will no longer listen to my recommendations,  only screaming she can't do this anymore.  Won't answer questions like what she took and when.  Dealing with her is getting worse. I miss singlehood. 

Yesterday, I noticed that the Tama Starclassic B/B Dark stardust fade kit i was chasing earlier reduced.  I tried for it, but avant finance only approved 1500... not 2200 needed.  I'm contemplating how badly I want it,  now.

Yesterday's practice kicked my ass. They want me to play harder,  faster and in some cases inaccurately. We chose our set list,  but randy never sent it over for me to work on. So how will I get more accurate? It's as if they're fed up with me. If so, I wished that they would just tell me. 

Finally,  Rush Limbaugh died Wednesday.  He was 70. Stage 4 lung cancer.  I fear a great candle has gone out in the conservative movement and the liberals will spend away the country. 

All through this insanity,  the essentially of my band dreams seems to be fading. Suddenly,  being in a band isn't as important as it once was to me 

Flashbacks from the recent past

Saturday,  the 13th. 

Out of nowhere,  I get a  Facebook message from Lauren.  She stated for me knock off the coffee memes.

Funny thing... I forgot sending most of them. I immediately deleted all messages in both text and messenger.  I reduced her status to acquaintance and will no longer initiate contact to her.

Whacko chick indeed 

Rt 95 band practice

5 weeks in.

Progress is slow, but further along than the Buzzards.  Still, we need to add more songs. The kit is complete,  but now I'm guarding it. 

We had an open practice on Saturday. Much of what happened was recorded on video by Heather.  There were 2 other guys there,  both drummers. I'm guessing that they wanted to sit in. NOPE. This is practice. 

We'll see how it goes and if they can keep me.

Amazing

The President was banned from Twitter, Facebook and other social media sites. His staunch supporters were also. With the socialists rewriting history in both houses of congress and the presidency,  scores of presidential dictatorship edicts erraticating the prior president,  congress inpeaching a post term president.... is that even a thing???

Rights are being erased daily. Congress now changing the rules with a tiebreaker vp casting the government mandate. 

Time to turn your back on the government and start fresh.

Something's changed

I feel it, but am not sure what it encompasses. 

Lately, I think about the good times with Diana, a LOT.  But that's not the only change.  

I both loath and relish my 1st American job. Also, I like Roadie when I'm not driving 1st American.  At the same time,  I miss the freedom of retirement.  I miss the freedom of Heather working.  I don't want anything to happen to her,  but I miss her being well and independent.  

I still want to be in a band but I also miss my freedom to go out and watch others music. 

I'm sensing a pattern here. FREEDOM. I'm tired of being told what to think and do. How to act. How we all need vaccines and to mask up. 

I thought I was prepared to go off on my own and live alone.  Now I'm being forced to because of new liberal shaming that has become acceptable.  I won't be mandated in to doing something or acting a certain way. 

I miss freedom of choice... even if it means I choose to exercise my immune system and not vaccinate. Especially when 62% of the medical profession HASN'T vaccinated,  not trusting the vaccines. What hypocrisy from the voted elitists! Do as I say, not as I do. 

Time will tell 

Now what?

So, Heather's been at the clinic for 3 days. Tardive Dyscanesia. A condition resulting in neurodamage due to excessive drug use for an extended period of time. 

She's strapped down, on 24 hour suicide watch , cameras and 24 hour attendant in the room. She has electrodes attached to hear head and a catheter because she peed herself a few times.. she so is forced to use a bedpan and is severely depressed.  I doubt she'll be coming home soon. 

On one hand, it's a relief. On the other, the future prospects are shaky. It would appear i will need to work a long time. .. for as long as I can.