Sunday, August 29, 2021

not what I thought

Yesterday was an awakening of sorts. In reading through Facebook,  I noticed that Muddy River Project has a new drummer.  
Then, I read that Ken got a new jam drummer.  

Two doors closed in a matter of minutes.  I can't blame them.  It's become painfully obvious that part of my life is over . Perhaps I should sell the PDP kits and call it a career.  I need to think about it 

Friday, August 27, 2021

change on the horizon

8/27/21

I've had these premonitions before.  I "feel" when a change is about to occur.  It feels that way again.  As if a page is turning.  

I think it's the domestic situation.  I am about done with Heather's sloppiness.  Plus,  she's gone more than here, not generating any income, and I'm left carrying the weight.


Thursday, August 26, 2021

8/26/2021

Today was busy driving.  
Lots of longer gigs.
Tonight,  I took Dawn's photo poster to her. She was really happy.

Heather is at Bob's again.
Meanwhile,  she's not bringing in money,  she keeps spending, the Rogue has no air conditioning now. It'll cost 900 to fix. She's going to have to fix it. I can't. 
Meanwhile,  the house is a disaster area. She's now got messes on her side of the upstairs,  her side of the basement,  the living room is almost unpassable, as is the dining room.cant get near the couch or dining room table. Garage is full of boxes, a table project (she never sold the one downstairs), kitchen sink gets full of dishes she never does, living room carpet never got ripped up, antique record player never got sold, she never continued on her book,  she never started listing and selling the items she bought for her web business. She bought a $200 clawfoot tub thats on hold while she finds movers tomorrow it. She never started back cleaning, she never went through with booking her boudoir photos.  In short, she starts but never finished ANYTHING! She better start finishing these projects or she'll be alone.  I can't live with another hoarder.

I need to step up my dating game. 

Tuesday, August 24, 2021

8/24/21

Charlie Watts died today. He was 80.

Joe Biden continues to be incompetent on all fronts.  Media...even CNN is bashing him.

I made a poster out of one of my moon photos for Dawn. I'll take it to her later this week. 

Heather's busy boinking Bob, her new boyfriend.  Spending many nights there.

I chose to opt out of Advanced Auto Parts.  Too long of hours for a declining guy like me. Too structured.  Roadie fits better all around. 

My thoughts lately have surrounded Lauren,  and how I blew it. Oh well... move on.




Friday, August 20, 2021

August 20, 2021

Weird day

I seem to be getting lazier with my roadies.  Down to 2 a day, and then I feel tired.  How am I gonna work 8 hours?

Tonight was supposed to be Armstrong Bearcats at Nashville Nights.  Butch's mom died, so there was some substitute band. Lame in caps would be more accurate.  

I'm going to sleep 💤 

Thursday, August 19, 2021

The I-team

The I-team is when
#1 is Incompetent 
#2 is indisposed
#3 is insane

August 18, 2021

Well, the absurd is abundant. 
I've been reinstated with roadie,  but haven't done any gigs. I'm waiting to see if I get paid for last week. 

I start with advanced auto parts Monday.  I am glad I can still get hired for jobs, but I'll have to see what happens with them. 

Heather is over at Bob's again. Randy finished my will, preliminary.


 I'm quite spinning with world events... Afghanistan is now alkiada run. Biden impotent.  Kamala is awol and so is press sec'y psacki. Military is pissed.  Clandestine services embarrassed.  It's all a cluster fuck. 

Friends are divided into factions by vexing. Theres now a 3rd shot for those who want it. Some of the vaxers are asking why. I now have a friend who had 2 shots,  get covid, Erol Summer.   To me,  it's just more fuel not to get it. How much more  chemicals are you gonna put in your body, when the first 2 shots didn't work?

Restaurants and entertainment bars requires proof of vax... I won't be going. 

Monday, August 16, 2021

Unraveling has begun

First... personal.  I lost my roadie gig. Saturday,  delivery to west bumfuck
 Google and Wales both directed me down a street where I left packages. Sunday,  roadie support calls... gotta return it to home depot, cuz buyer never got them.  Of course after my hour drive, they're no longer there. 

Roadie account frozen. 274 in account.  No one responds to me.  
I'm pissed.  So, I go out. Job hunting... 3 offers.  I took advanced auto parts. Less driving.  10/hr..30 hours, 4 days. Probably save 100 to 120 a week on gas.

Second... biden. Pulls out of Afghanistan reminiscent of the end of Nam. Refugees hanging off planes taking off, falling to their deaths. Vp kamala bails... leaves Washington for a week as does press secretary jen piano. Congress is silent because they were complicit.

Biden a senile ass. Military let out to dry while  oneness votes themselves a 2000 per month raise and then decides how to spend 5 trillion in stimulus. 

USA is going down.  Tala and took cobbel Afghanistan and has all our armaments we hitailed outta there without.

Saturday, August 14, 2021

addendum, continuation

Still visiting the past work in my dreams.  Each time,  I either consciously add my retirement to the dream or wake up disbelieving it.

I've also been revisiting people from bands i know.  Mike binder and Priscilla,  Marc alu, even Jude are visiting.  Also cherish estrich(?) 

Not certain what is getting resolved by these dreams,  but I imagine that they have some purpose.  
I vaguely remember drumming dreams too. 

It's all too weird.  
I'm also certain it has to do with my boredom with seeing bands lately as well.  

Perhaps this is all leading up to a change in direction of sorts. 

Wednesday, August 11, 2021

update of sorts

Well, I've prepaid my cremation and the will is being completed. I've stopped speaking to Erica because of her radical ideas. Now Mike seems to be affected by the same ignorance. 

Right now I can't be concerned with that however.  That's for Jessica to sort out. All I can do is work to pay off the credit cards and cars.  That's my purpose. 

I can't put my finger on it, but I've been revisiting the past during my dreams in the past days.  Everything from closings to real estate to lending and insurance.
Quite odd really.  I find myself waking up, thinking wait!! I'm retired.  I don't need this.....

Seems like I'm wrapping things up in my head,  heart and life.
Time will tell...


Tuesday, August 10, 2021

August 10, 2021

In a couple weeks,  it'll be 6 months since my stroke.  That's an astounding fact. I've accomplished a great deal since then. I'm working every day. My roadie income has replaced first American.  But first American is a job i never should have taken.  

The stroke altered the direction of my life. 6 months ago,  I was in a  pretty solid band, readying for a gig. When the stroke took that away,  I think it did more than destroy me. I think it destroyed Randy and Ken too. 

Ken and Randy apparently parted ways. Ken moved on with his new girlfriend,  as said by Randy. But Ken hinted at Randy's poor living conditions,  dirty place and excessive pot use as the reason.  
Randy had plans to replace Keith as King's bass player, and perhaps run sound. 

But then,  Greg King died. Whether it was covid or just pneumonia,  I'll never know.  But Route 95 falling apart and then Greg's death  i think took Randy as much as the motor cycle accident did. His las Facebook posts were almost resigned to plants, and not nearly as many "Stalker Nams" as he used to rant about.

I never realized,  until he was gone,  that the car accident,  his sister's taking his mom's house,  and his mom's death all occurred within the last year before our meeting.  He had it pretty tough in his last year.  RIP Randy.

Additionally this year,  I upped my bills to add the cargo van. Extended some credit card debt to make a lot of this happen.  It'll go down slower, because I don't think we'll get another stimulus check.  But if we do, I hope to eradicate the credit cards. I'm going to need Heather to start paying something again. 

Time will tell 

Sunday, August 08, 2021

weekend review

Friday was quiet. Saturday night was at Nashville Nights with impulse.  Both Suzanne and Skye did a full court press. But dawn won out as we chatted a lot Sunday morning.  

Wednesday, August 04, 2021

8/4 update

Today was tiring.  Only small potatoes gigs Today so I'm behind the 8 ball now. helped Heather dismantle the day bed and took upstairs.  

Last time I had decided to sell the PDP brown kit... abandoned that idea. Keeping it now 

I'm exhausted 

Oh, masks are coming back too.  Home depot,  lowes, giant eagle,  i image menards too.

I made contact with Rob grass from the money store.  He and Sherri are still together...in Florida... he's still in mortgage but thinking about getting in with Sherri on her new processing company.  Funny what memories do...


Charlie Watts was rushed to the hospital yesterday for emergency surgery.  He'll miss the US tour.  At 80, still drumming.  God bless.

Sunday, August 01, 2021

I am better off alone

I dislike Heather more and more.  She has no ambition to get a job,  just going on as status quo. Playing with her men while I work.  And me? Alas,  I'm destined to be alone