End of September, 2021

Reflections

July 15, 2021. Randy Frazier rode off into forever.  

September 26, 2021. Naomi Lawler had gone to rest. She was a recent friend i met on a dating website.  We struck up a conversation detailing our maladies. Her ambition was to find a friend to do stuff with.  Much like Cheryl,  with her cramming life into her last year, so was apparently Naomi's plan. I never met you Naomi,  but you touched my soul.

I'm selling my brown PDP kit to Dan French on Saturday.  I've listed my black pearl PDP kit, and started getting action on it. If both sell, that clears the way to get a Tama Starclassic wrapped kit of some kind. I'm going back to Tama. 

I'm still roadie-ing.  If I can maintain a few months of constant work like last week, I'll also try to pay off the personal loan I took out... before the end of the year. 

Recent Reflections

I'm moving in to a period of transition.  Not even caring about past relationships,  or past jobs, or even past bands. All of these were covered in past reflections.

I'm transitioning to the future place where I will live.  Studying more about using a reverse mortgage for a purchase,  and how to go about it.

I also want to live alone. No roommates to clear things with. 

I find myself paying attention to houses as I drive. Wayne County looks like the spot. We'll see. 

But no remorse for spoiled relationships. No dreams about former jobs, no nothing.  Just looking forward to home ownership and living alone 

Another Friday night

Well, my plans fell through.  I was going to try to get to Nashville Nights tonight.  It didn't happen. 

Instead,  another Friday night at home.

It's funny how I've changed.  I'm too lazy to drive an hour and a half one way to spend a set listening to a band. I KNOW it's me that has changed because it doesn't matter who's playing,  I'm bored.  I used to get into the music,  but now am bored with it. 

I started to empathize with the hours a band puts in practicing,  and the joy of their performance flies right out the window.  

Another reason I'm having trouble is the people.  Half are on their phones. Some are talking over the band.some are just distastfully drunk. I notice that more now.

Yup,  I've changed 

flashbacks

I don't know why, but over the past few months I have been flashing back to the year 2014.

No specific memory,  but 2014 keeps popping in to my head. Perhaps it's because that was a turning point year. I had a new place to live,  no woman in my life until after July,  and other issues were turning around.  That was the year when I kicked all the payday loans to the curb. 

The eternal downside was Jude.  I should have skipped meeting her. Then 2015/16 wouldn't have happened and I wouldn't have had that entire heartache experience.  I might have also avoided this entire Heather experience as well. Perhaps it's time to sever the ties here too. But I must save up funds to make that happen too.

9/17 my hermitage

I barely go anywhere anymore. 

Today I went to Clinton Towpath to walk and take pictures.  Kicked my ass! I'm severely out of shape.  

But, at least my weight is down.  According to the doctors office I weigh 235. That's down 30 pounds since my stroke.  If I drop more, it'll surely help the blood pressure.  My lipid count was 80, which he said was excellent.  

I'm not working anymore so I'll save about 150 a week on gas. I just need to find out how to bring in 800 a month to cover the cars and utilities. 

Another weekend alone

Today is 9/10/21. Early this morning,  Heather was out to work at sisters tag sale.  I've been home alone and sick all day. She's spending the weekend at Bob's.  

This is getting old 

updated vision of the future

As stated in the past,  from time to time I glimpse a vision of what may transpire in the future. 

Recent developments indicate the following:

1. Heather's relationship with Bob is progressing.  He's feeling comfortable here, likes the wide open back yard and Heather feels comfortable with his overtures with Sallie. 

2. Bob's mom is still alive, but at 90, I can't figure she'll be in the picture very much longer.  Bob's retirement is now inevitable,  and if his mom goes, he'll have no need to stay in Cuyahoga falls,  and Heather won't want to live there.

3. Sallie is a year and a half away from graduating and that time will pass quickly. 

4. I won't want to be here if Bob moves in.

Suddenly,  the future of my being here has been given a window out.

Today was Labor Day

The traditional end of summer.  Until late afternoon it was gray, gloomy and wet... all weekend. 

Traditionally,  this weekend was spent at 519 Twilight Trail in Gloria glens. We would be spending the weekend celebrating mom's birthday,  which was yesterday.  She'd have been 98 yesterday. 

I think the last time we went to the cottage on her birthday was 1977. I took the monte carlo, Maria was there and Frank Tortorella and his buddy drove by as we were playing Frisbee. The last time I stepped foot in side the active park, was for the rats/rapscallion show at the Zeppelin  - the old dance hall. Although the next weekend,  Bob peeko and I tried to get in to see Michael Stanley,  we never made it in

Fast forward to 2004, when Diana and I took mom to show her the new construction that was done on the cottage 

 

Flash forward again when Cheryl and I took photos of the last showing of the park, and we went to Twilight trail where the entire block of cottages was leveled due to mold. 

Gone was mom and dad

Gone was the amusement park 

Gone was the entire block of Twilight trail.

oye

Today's 9/3 and it's the 3rd day i have the chills in the evening.  Also, Heather's got covid and strep. I'm keeping my distance while I go through my usual ibuprofen and benadryl along with my prescriptions.

I've still done a few roadie ls but it looks like 200 will be the max this week. Time will tell.