Time

The past few days have taken me down memory lane frequently.  I spent a couple days going through parts of Medina county.  Seeing some sights I have not seen in 15 years.  Bringing back memories from a happier time with Diana.  Seeing some closed stores and restaurants I either frequented or drove by in the past.  

Depression memories stir. Mostly the emotions of loss. Loss of a good relationship,  of a good lover. Look of a happier time.  

Then I think - what could I have done differently? After contemplating,  I realize the only one thing I could have done was to end the daily drinking.  But that would have to be agreed upon by both of us, and she wouldn't have let it go so quickly.  

Gout snapped me out of it. But only because she was already out of the picture.  Had we still been together,  there wouldn't have been the resolve and I'd still be her drunken boyfriend and she my drunken girlfriend. Truth is,  we weren't in the same circle anymore.  

Time.

I have it NOW,  to remember a feeling of entrapment back then. 

And the me of now is twice removed and re-evolved into a different me