Re-Adjustments

They're made all the time.
Whether changing lanes in traffic or when you decide to quit smoking... you've fine tuned your present course.

I made some adjustments 2 years ago when I didn't care for the direction my life was heading into. I quit drinking, paid attention to my health, decided I was better off alone rather than sharing my girlfriend with another man in another state while she chased her long distance relationships fantasy, I returned to my musical roots, later, I met up with an old flame to resolve some unfinished business and I changed my financial direction.

More changes are coming.
The flame is out.
Both the old flame and the musical pursuits directions have run their respective courses.

It has become increasingly apparent to me that my life's direction as of late - although at times seeming counter-productive, has been part of a plan I as of yet don't understand.

After a little over a year of exploring any unfinished business with the old flame, I was reminded why I can't be with her. Fundementally, we are like oil and water. Que Sara Sara. I now can't say I didn't try.

In exploring my musical pursuits again, it has been freustrating realization after frustrating realization. I set down my drumsticks when I became a parent. Seeing how my contemporaries handled their music throughout their lives, I now realize the sad truth that time - and talent - have passed me by. Starting anew would cost me more than I have to give - in the practicing sense - in the financial sense - in the residence practice area sense and in the performance sense.

A brief flirtation into the world of photography has also yielded heartache after heartache. Here too, limited by funds and the equipment I am privy too (not even my own), I realize I can not excell as my heart and soul want to. Further, I don't have the thick skin for the criticism that spews my way from my finally resolved "flame" from the past. She always knows better and always viscerates me with her acidic opinions. Who needs that?

I sense REAL change on the horizon. Not so much one that will be as financially painful as in the past, for I have stripped myself bare of any finances or obligations through the financial re-adjustments I made in my years' past.

A change of venue is all but a certainty.
A change in lifestyle could result.
A change in relationship status is most likely.
A change in friendships is most probable.

It could very well be a time of shaking out the rugs.....