1998: I was a hoe.
Simply put, I used theGlobe chat rooms as a way to get laid.... ... a LOT.
10 years later, having tripled my "notches" in my headboard, I was dealt death blow to my libido. E D. had crept in. I thought it was due to the volumes of alcohol Diana and I were drinking. And at first, it may have been.
Diana, however, was a roamer, and was on track to spread her wings again. By September, I was alone and roaming, myself. It didn't matter. I couldn't get it up for the class of swine I had been swilling.
The return of Cheryl brought my libido back for a while, but her sickness took over and we were cut short. I think that end also ended my sexuality.
The resulting trolls were just that... trolls. Jude should have never happened. She was a complete meltdown of anything resembling sanity. Her abrupt change of heart indicated she needed sex I couldn't give. Still, her usury of my emotions left another scar.
I should have remained single. I know that now. Heather's subsequent pursuit of me was more flattering than real. Her being born the year I graduated was a big ego boost, even though I never had the ability to follow through.
Ironically, the last two were told about my sexual inadequacy ahead of time. They were warned. In retrospect, it started with Diana in about 2006, and one of her reasons for trolling was lack of intimacy. Jude trolled as well. All the while she was planning my 60th birthday party, she was trolling, and in fact made friends with the guy she left me for on that very birthday.
Heather had been making noises about sex with others as far back as a year ago. Had I stood my ground and not gotten involved, I'd not be alone so many nights now.... I wouldn't have a relationship to be alone in.
So, this is karma, huh? I suspect they too, will be paid a karmatric visit some day as well...
