This path

The more I think about it,  the more I realize that the path I am currently on will need to change. Since there is no real relationship with Heather,  there's no point in continuing the charade of "us". 

It's OK for her to have her flings. 

Why can't I have them as well? Except for by definition,  a fling implies sex, which I haven't felt comfortable in since 2005.

Within the confines of this living situation,  I cannot have a healthy relationship of my own.  I need to be more FREE than I am.  Free to come and go.  Free to stay out all night.  Free to entertain.  I won't have that here. 

Yet, she spends weekends away... plans vacations... talks of going away to Vegas or the Bahamas or Florida.  Meanwhile,  I work...

This path has to change